


When You Find Me: Epilogue

by Dystopian_Dramaqueen, thismidnight



Series: When You Find Me [6]
Category: The Handmaid's Tale (TV), The Handmaid's Tale - Margaret Atwood
Genre: Canada, Cannon Divergent, Comfort, F/M, Fairy Tale Ending, Happy Ending, Healing, Trauma Recovery, starting a new chapter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-08
Updated: 2020-02-08
Packaged: 2021-02-28 00:13:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,144
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22614658
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dystopian_Dramaqueen/pseuds/Dystopian_Dramaqueen, https://archiveofourown.org/users/thismidnight/pseuds/thismidnight
Summary: A year ago @thismidnight and I decided to write a story arc for Season 3 of the Handmaid's Tale.We imagined Nick and June's tearful goodbye the night before Nick's deployment to Chicago (Slow Dancing in a Burning Room). We imagined stolen moments at their meeting in Washington, DC (Kiss Quick), and the letters they exchanged while he was at war (Hold On To Hope Love). We imagined their steamy reunion and confessions at a hidden cabin in Michigan (Safe and Sound), and their arrival in Canada (How You Survived The War).Now we want to share their happy ending. A year after their escape. Bringing this series to a close so that Nick, June, Holly and Hannah can begin a new chapter together in safety.
Relationships: Nick Blaine/June Osborne | Offred
Series: When You Find Me [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1389148
Comments: 6
Kudos: 41





	When You Find Me: Epilogue

_A little over one year later_

“I told you not to lift that one,” June says as she looks up from where she sits on the floor in front of an open cardboard box, rifling through it, looking for Holly’s bath toys. Holly stands next to her, gripping the open flap of the box in anticipation. Across the room, Nick grunts as he hoists the heavy box containing mismatched cookware onto the kitchen counter. 

He exhales sharply, shaking his head. “It’s fine. It’s done now.”

June rolls her eyes, shaking her head as she tosses more toys on the floor. “You’re gonna throw your back out...”

“There!! There!!” Holly shrieks, pointing into the corner of the box. June reaches in, retrieving a colorful plastic mermaid and placing it in Holly’s eager hands. 

“Alright. We found it. _Now_ can we take your bath?” June asks. Holly nods, turning and running for the bathroom, the layout of their tiny new apartment already committed to memory. June stands and sighs, looking down at the mess she’d added to the small space already cluttered with moving boxes and out of place furniture. 

“Don’t worry about it,” Nick reassures, stepping out of the kitchen. “I’ll pick it up.”

“You sure?”

He nods, motioning to the pizza boxes strewn on the table, the discarded pieces of crust resting on paper towels instead of plates. “Yeah, I’m gonna clean up a little bit anyway.”

June’s eyes soften with gratitude. “Thank you,” she says, turning to follow the sound of Holly calling for her in a sing-song voice from the bathroom.

Nick smiles as he watches June go, feeling a contented warmth spread through his chest. It’s the same way he felt months ago, the first time Holly fell asleep in his lap at June’s tiny studio apartment, and again six weeks later, the morning after he’d spent the night sleeping on the floor because Holly had been sick and didn’t want him to leave. June had kissed him and told him she thought it was time they found their own place, together.

It took a while to find an apartment that worked, but they finally had. It’s not much, but it’s perfect for them. Two bedrooms, close to Hannah’s school, with a park nearby for Holly to play. Nick smiles as he looks around at the thrift store furniture in the shoebox-sized living room. He couldn’t be happier. It might be small and outdated, but it’s _theirs_. 

He pauses to rake his fingers back through his dark curls, surveying the mess in the room. His hair is longer now than it’s ever been, but the look is growing on him. June likes it too. She says it makes him look younger. Lighter somehow, more carefree. He doesn’t tell her that she’s right but it has nothing to do with his hair. He feels that way all the time now, just because he gets to be with her.

With a deep sigh, he heads into the kitchen to grab a garbage bag to clean up the remnants of their dinner. He makes quick work of the chore, placing the bag by the door before he stops to clean up Holly’s mess of toys. He ignores the twinge of pain in his lower back as he bends to toss the toys back in the box, but he decides this will be the last thing he moves today.

He deposits the last box in Holly’s room- the only space in the apartment that’s truly “done.” Getting her room unpacked had been their only priority today- and on his way back he peeks into the bathroom. He smiles as he watches Holly splash her mermaid in the water, singing to herself. June is deep in concentration, trying to keep their slippery toddler still as she rinses shampoo from her hair, and neither she or Holly notice his presence. The warm feeling from before returns and Nick leaves them, not wanting to interrupt the moment. 

He takes the trash out to the dumpster, and as he makes his way back up onto their porch, in the dim twilight, he notices a small square box by the door. His brow furrows as he bends to pick it up. 

The label is addressed to June. It’s not one of their moving boxes. It must have come in the mail. Confused, Nick tucks the package under his arm and heads back into their apartment, locking the door behind him. He makes his way down the hallway to find June in Holly’s bedroom, tugging her pajama top over her head. 

“Hey,” June smiles, catching him in the doorway. Her eyes shift as she notices the package under his arm. “What’s that?”

“We got our first package. It’s for you.” Nick can’t help but smile as the words leave his lips. _Our package_. They share an address now. Officially.

Recognition crosses June’s face. “I wasn’t expecting it to come so soon.”

Nick looks at the small, flat box in his hand. “What is it?”

June reaches out for Holly and gets her attention, knowing she and Nick will need a second to talk. She brushes the wet curls out of Holly’s face. “Can you be a big helper for me?” Excited to help, Holly nods vigorously. June smiles. “Will you go unpack your last box of toys? And put them in your toy box before we go to bed?”

“Okay, mama.” Holly says with a smile.

June stands up and steps over to Nick. He holds the package out to her but she shakes her head. Instead, she wraps one arm around his waist and leans her head on his shoulder, her voice soft but full of intensity. 

“You open it.”

Nick’s brow furrows, more confused now than before. “What is it?”

June smiles and turns her head up to look at Nick, her eyes sparkling. “A surprise.”

Nick opens the box and pulls out a small rectangular book. The cover is red leather and the title is embossed on the front in gold foil. It looks like an old school fairy tale book but he doesn’t recognize the title. He looks over at June, her eyes shimmering with tears. He’s completely lost. _It’s just a book..._

“Hey, you okay?” He asks. 

June nods, taking a deep breath, centering herself. “Open it. Read the dedication page first.”

Butterflies flutter in Nick’s stomach as he opens the book and flips to the first page. The dedication. 

  
  


_Holly_ _—_

_This is your story._

_It kept me alive during the dark times._

_Imagining that I would see you again._

_Believing we could triumph over fear._

_With hope, anything is possible._

_Never forget that._

_I love you, darling girl._

_-Mama_

  
  


_Nick_ _—_

_This is our story too._

_It’s not perfect, but I wouldn’t change a thing._

_Thank you for giving me a reason to live._

_Thank you for not giving up on us._

_Thank you for surviving._

_My light through the dark._

_I love you._

_-June_

  
  


Nick looks up, swallowing hard. He shakes his head slightly. “June... I don’t understand...”

June takes another centering breath, wiping the tears already rolling down her cheeks away with her fingers even though she knows there’s no stopping them now. 

“When Hannah was a little girl, I read to her every night. When she was old enough to talk, she asked for stories about _her_ . So I made up a story about Princess Hannah. I always started with the same introduction — and pretty soon she could recite it by heart. _Every night_ she asked me to continue the story.”

Nick nods, listening intently.

“Once I knew I could get letters to Holly in Canada, I started doing the same thing for her. I wrote stories about Princess Holly and asked Moira to read them to her. But I didn’t just…” she trails off, closing her eyes, tears falling off her eyelashes. 

Nick closes the book and sets it on Holly’s dresser, reaching his hand out and cupping June’s face. She leans into his touch, as her eyes flutter open and she looks up at him, ready to continue. “I didn’t just make it up like I did with Hannah. I wrote the truth. Her real story _…_ _our story._ ” 

June fights to get the next words out, the pain heavy in her whisper. “I wanted her to know us, know she was loved, and know how hard we were trying to get back to her. In case we never saw her again.”

Nick nods, chilled to the bone. He understands completely. His biggest fear was that Holly would wonder why he’d abandoned her. A pit opens up in his stomach, his emotions threatening to overtake him too. He can tell June isn’t done. There’s still something she needs to say. Nick pulls her closer against him, gently urging her to continue. 

“Holly asked about her story a few weeks ago at bedtime and I realized she’s never heard the ending. I wrote it, and it’s a good ending, but I never sent it to her because...” she pauses again, closing her eyes as she exhales sharply. “I thought you’d died.”

“What?” Nick asks, searching her eyes as they flutter back open, meeting his gaze. This is the first he’s heard of this. 

June nods, quickly explaining to him what she’d heard from Lawrence the day she finished the story, barreling through the details of that awful night, the terror still fresh and real in her mind. Nick can see the pain etched all over her face and in the way her hands shake and he can’t stand seeing her like this. “Hey,” Nick says reassuringly, taking her hands in his. “I’m right here. It’s okay.” 

June nods as Nick squeezes her hands, grounding her, so she can blink away the past. “It… her story.... reminds me of that day. That feeling. I haven’t even been able to think about it because when I do, all I can think about is how you...” She trails off, running her fingers over his chest, over the scar she knows resides just under his shirt. She places her hand there, taking comfort in his steady beating heart under her palm. She readies herself with a deep breath. Her tears have dried up, but she’s still clearly trying to put something very painful to rest in her mind.

“I know we’re okay. We’re safe.” Her voice rings calm and certain now as she nods. “All of us. And I’m ready to put all of that fear and pain behind us. I owe it to Holly to finish her story. She deserves to hear the ending. So I took all the letters and cleaned them up and had them printed.” 

She picks the book up and runs her fingers over the title. She presses the book into Nick’s hands. “This is it. The whole story. I want you to read it to her tonight.”

Nick swallows hard as he nods.

They wait for Holly to finish putting her toys away and then they all settle into her toddler bed, June curls at the end watching as Holly snuggles up to Nick at the head of the bed. Holly holds the book upside down, flipping through the pages.

“Holly,” June says from the foot of the bed, “do you want Daddy to read your Princess Holly story tonight?”

A grin lights up Holly’s face as she looks up at Nick. She drops the book and claps her hands together. “Daddy night! Pince night!”

The words echo for Nick. 

Holly said the same phrase when she first met him in the refugee center. He glances up at June, a flicker of recognition dancing in his eyes.

Holly smiles as she hands him the book. Nick smiles back with amused confusion. “Is this your night story? Do you know this one?”

“She knows it by heart,” June promises as an impatient Holly pushes the cover of the book open as she settles down by his side, resting her head against his torso, her legs extended out next to him. 

Nick clears his throat and begins.

_Once upon a time, there was a beautiful princess named Holly._

_She had blue eyes like her mom and long, dark, curly hair like her daddy._

Holly stands, gripping a fistful of Nick’s dark hair. She pats his head, before grabbing a handful of her own matching dark curly hair. Satisfied with her efforts, she plops down next to him again. Nick looks at June, smiling. Finally understanding. They have matching hair. It’s Holly’s proof that Nick is her real father, with hair like hers, just like in her story. Holly wiggles impatiently against Nick and he clears his throat, turning his attention back to the book. 

_Before Holly was born, the evil witch Serena and the ugly ogre Fred kidnapped her parents._

_Serena wanted her parents to do bad, horrible things._

_And when Holly was born, the evil witch wanted to take Holly away._

Nick feels Holly shift against him, and he looks down to find her face pressed into his chest, his shirt balled up tight in her fist. Nick instinctively rubs her little back, reassuring her, making her feel safe as he shoots June a look. Quickly, he continues past the scary part.

_But Holly’s mommy and daddy were smart._

_And they didn’t want Holly to live in a land with witches and ogres._

_So they sent her to Canada where she could be safe with her Auntie Moira._

_But her mommy and daddy couldn’t come with her._

_The ogres sent her daddy far away, and they kept her mommy locked in a tower._

_Holly’s parents never stopped thinking of Holly._

_Every day they thought about her,_

_and dreamed of the day they could see her again._

Nick looks up at June as the weight of the last line settles in his chest. He rubs the page between his fingers before he turns it, remembering the pictures of Holly, the letters June had sent him, that had kept him alive. He clears his throat and continues reading. He reads through sections of the story about Princess Holly and her adventures in Canada, about June working to try and contact her, about how he was off slaying monsters to make the world safe for them. Holly remains completely entranced, enamored with her story.

When he gets three pages from the end of the book, he feels June adjust at the end of the bed, sitting up straighter. The energy in the room shifts and he knows he’s getting to the unheard ending. Holly stills next to him, ready to take in this part of the story she’s never heard either. Nick takes a deep breath to center himself. He clears his throat and reads:

_Holly’s daddy was Prince Nick, a brave and handsome knight._

_He spent a year in the land of the monsters._

_It was a cold, desolate land, where no one hugged or smiled._

_There were no toys and laughter was not allowed._

_Prince Nick was very smart, and one day, he gave the monsters a sleeping potion._

_While the monsters were snoring,_

_he crept into their cave and killed them in their sleep._

_Prince Nick was happy. Because he was finally free!_

_And that meant he could finally make his way back to Holly and her mommy._

_He ran as fast as he could from the land of the monsters._

_He ran over mountains, and swam across rivers,_

_Traveling as fast as he could to get back to his family._

Nick’s chest is heavy as he finishes the passage because Holly is cheering next to him, clapping her hands together excitedly. “Pince Night! Daddy Night!” She calls out, overjoyed that Prince Nick, the hero of her story, had finally won. 

And it hits him hard, all at once. _Holly knows him._ It’s why she wasn’t scared of him at the refugee center. She knows how much he loves her. She’s _known_ how much he loves her. She knows why he was away, what he’s been through, and how hard he’d been trying to get back to her. She’s been rooting for him. 

Nick looks up at June’s tear-streaked face, seeing the same truth in her eyes. He's her hero too. Despite all of his sins and mistakes, June has always seen the good in him. He blinks as hot tears streak down his cheeks now too. There aren’t many lines left and he takes a deep, shuddering breath, hoping he can make it through. His voice is rough as he reads the last paragraph. 

_Prince Nick found Holly’s mommy first._

_But they couldn’t go to Holly yet._

_So they hid together in a magical forest,_

_resting for their long journey to Holly._

_Every day they drank magic water and ate magic fruit_

_that healed their wounds and made their hearts strong again._

_They were very happy to be together,_

_but they knew they still needed to find their daughter._

_They waited until the monsters were all gone for good,_

_and everything was happy and safe._

_And then, together, they went to Canada._

_And, finally, they found Holly._

_They picked her up and hugged her_

_And promised to never let her go._

_Together, they were a family again._

Nick’s eyes drift to the last line on the last page, set apart from the rest of the story. The words catch in his chest as he swallows hard, bringing his hand up to wipe tears off his face, the gravity of the last words so heavy he’s unable to say them aloud. 

Because right here, in this tiny apartment littered with toddler toys, he realizes the words on the page have come true. June wrote these words in a place without hope, breathing them into existence. She sheltered them, carried them in her heart, nurtured them until they thrived and blossomed into reality. 

A weight drops in his stomach as he looks around at the empty moving boxes, the curtains they haven’t hung up yet, and he realizes that every battle, every loss, every scar, all of the pain and suffering, all of it led to this moment. Nick closes his eyes, hearing the words June had dedicated to him.

_It’s not perfect, but I wouldn’t change a thing._

He wouldn’t either. 

Nick looks up at June, who is finally at peace, her eyes shining with love. His heart starts to pound in his chest as he realizes that saying these words will make it real. _Their happy ending._ He blinks rapidly, quickly dropping a kiss to the top of Holly’s head, pulling her tight against him. Then he finally allows himself to speak the last line on the page, allowing it’s truth to wash over him, filling him with a peace he never knew possible. 

_And they all lived happily ever after._


End file.
